I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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