I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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