Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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