what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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