his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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