he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
