Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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