similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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