There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
