so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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