You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
