I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
