We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
