hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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