I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
