I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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