dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
