maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
