We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
