Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
