my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
