I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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