id be glad to
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
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