I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
