she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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