I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
