My liver just broke up with me...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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