It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
