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I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize