My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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