i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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