with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
