In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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