so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize