I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
