Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
