I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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