I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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