On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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