Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
