Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize