True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
