Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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