My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
