do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
