I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize