your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
How's work?
Spinning.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
