He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
