I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
