White coat. Heels.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she looked like the before picture.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
