Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize