How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
