So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
