I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
