tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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