I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
