so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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