what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
