Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
