How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
