I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize