How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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